David A. Hammer

To my fun-loving, brilliant, kind, compassionate husband. Our ride has been long, but not long enough. We were so fortune to have so much adventure and so little hard-ship in our life together. We raised two children who have grown to be adults with compassion and integrity; who are centered, kind and fun-loving. You created SO many zany and fun events for our friends, changing words to songs for graduations and birthdays. While hiking you were the one who needed to see what was around the next corner or take a divergent path to see if the view might be just a bit better. Your passion to help people recover their lives from trauma was deeply admirable. Your work in that area was definitely and sadly cut short. You kept us busy with music venues and filled our home with music at all times. Learning to play the piano at 40 years old was certainly admirable and I will miss hearing you play, every night at I get ready for bed.

“David was always willing to try every dance and embraced others with laughter and song. Thank you dear friend for the love you shared and the music and memories you engraved in our hearts forever”

-Ruth Miller

(courtesy Philippe Bernat)

“Just as I was thinking it would be difficult to find one memory that epitomizes David, it came to me. After the Keb’Mo show, waiting for the crowd to thin out, David started dancing like no one was watching. It was a song with a funky beat; people were watching, especially a group of women on the lower level. I don’t claim to be a mind reader, but I’m sure they were thinking, ‘Damn, that white boy’s got moves!’ Wring the most joy out of this journey is what I remember about David. We are very glad David was part of our lives.”

-Joe & Dottie

“This is for you David. You shared your love with us, and your love of life, through your love of music. Thank you for making this a wonderful world! Ohhhh Yyyeahhh!”

-Jon Girvetz

“I am so thankful that David and I shared a deep and abiding friendship that transcended time and place for over 40 years. 

David inspired me to experience nature to the fullest; to dance with soulful abandonment; and to actively care about humanity.  When I dance, I channel him.  When I speak up against injustice, I feel his power.  When I’m looking for rays over coral he is there with me. He continues to inspires me to be more adventurous.  He will always be a part of me.”

-Gary Thomas

Oh David! What a gift it has been to know you!!!

Since the time I met you in 1976 and then Karen in 1980, our friendship and adventures grew richer every turn.

Because of you, I braved adventures I never had (or would have) tried. My first snorkeling was with you and Karen, as well as, my first white water rafting trip, my first cross country skiing, and first trips out of the country.

Most notably was our trip to Peru where we hiked to a 14,000 ft. mountain top temple, where you sat beside Tom and me as we scattered James’ ashes.

You were the heart of celebrations, whether birthdays or graduations, with your songs, scripts, and creative ways to roast the ones you love.

Your antics kept us laughing….

And your love for your family, our family, our tribe, our children, our grandchildren, and scores of friends that I have had the privilege of meeting over the years… has warmed my heart beyond words.

Music was and is our elixir and I hold the times we played together close in my heart always.

-Joan Saia

(courtesy Dennis Couwenberg)

My friendship with David and Karen was new and just starting to blossom. In a way a feel cheated that I didn’t have more time with David to create many more cherished moments and memories.

I’ll miss going to music, especially jazz events, kayaking, hiking, and playing board games. I love how he had a connection with my dad through Karaoke.

I am so grateful for what time I did have and what an impact David has made on my life.

-Maureen Ellis

Bodega Bay. King of the hill!

Karen, me and David. After his surgery.
I thought we were going to walk around the block. Didn’t expect to walk down to the river!

David on his last hike to Cronan Ranch.

David listening to music in pure happiness and peace.

David’s bright smile and twinkle in his eyes were the first things I noticed when we met on a work assignment  in Germany two decades ago.  His special talent of connecting with people was immediately evident.  He loved meeting and befriended people with his kindness, compassion, non-judgement,  wisdom, and wide ranging interest and talents.  

“To know him is to love him” was a saying that fits him perfectly.   If you wanted fun, playfulness, laughter and memory making good times all you had to do was to join in adventures with David. With an enthusiastic,  zestful, and  “Just  Say YES”  attitude he created a circle of excitement and delight to what ever was happening.  His values of service and support of those in need were  activated by volunteering in the community, public service work, political activism and his dedication to the clients he provided psychotherapy for.  He was always offering help to his friends, neighbors and others in need of support. His gave with grace and wisdom.  

I have been honored to share a rich friendship with David, Karen and his family.  The journey has been a great pleasure and taught me so many valued life lessons about love, family, friendships, and creating a fulfilling and service-oriented life.  David is truly an example of a life well lived.  He has loved well and been well loved.  He has made the world a better place because of his being here.  May we all carry with us his spirit of goodness, adventure, and love.

(courtesy Treva Miller)

My husband Merrill and I first met David and Karen through a hiking group led by my brother, Rick. Before long, our weekends often found us together on the coast where we shared meals, conversations, and walks on the beach. We enjoyed the easy companionship of friends.

David was one of those people who made conversations engaging because he was knowledgeable, curious about the world and interested in others. I always admired hearing about his work helping people recover from post-traumatic stress. It reflected the compassion and commitment that seemed so much a part of who he was.

He also had a wonderfully playful spirit and a fun mischievousness about him sometimes too. When I suggested he and Karen join on a trip to Burning Man, it was an immediate “yes”. What could have been a logistical nightmare became an organized adventure thanks to David and Karen. He somehow found an RV for us to rent—a remarkable feat in itself—and tracked down burner bikes for everyone and even created gifts to bring and offer to others. His organizational skills made the trip possible, and his enthusiasm was so David.

Another special memory is a ski weekend at our cabin, where he happily joined us for a lovely tradition of the mountaintop champagne toast. It was a moment of celebrating life, friendship, and the joy of being outdoors.

When I think of David, I remember an engaging, thoughtful, capable, and fun-loving man whose curiosity enriched every gathering. I feel fortunate to have shared those adventures and conversations with him. He will be remembered with great fondness, and my heart goes out to Karen, Devon, Jenna, Kai and Max and all who loved him.